{"id":10790,"date":"2022-02-14T07:54:06","date_gmt":"2022-02-14T07:54:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/?p=10790"},"modified":"2022-02-07T22:06:44","modified_gmt":"2022-02-07T22:06:44","slug":"bad-dates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/en\/bad-dates\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad Dates"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re taking pity on four animals who are truly terrible dates, and offering up our unsolicited advice. Think they might get a date for Valentine\u2019s Day if they change their tune?<\/h2>\n

\"\"Dear CWF, <\/em><\/strong>
\n I know I\u2019m a terrible kisser. But I was born this way. Is there any hope?<\/em><\/strong>
\n Yours, Pining Pileated <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Pining Pileated,
\nSo here\u2019s the thing. As a Pileated Woodpecker, you were born with an amazing tongue with spear like tips on it \u2013 perfect for foraging for insects in timber. But\u2026it\u2019s not ideal for smooching. Try cuddling instead.
\nCWF<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Dear CWF, <\/em><\/strong>
\n I spend a lot of the year migrating. It gets lonely. And so I keep trying to buddy up with other sea creatures (mainly\u2026er\u2026pretty much only jellyfish). They don\u2019t seem very cooperative. What can I do to persuade them to stick around?<\/em><\/strong>
\n Sincerely, A Lonely Leatherback<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Lonely Leatherback,
\nWe know it\u2019s hard to be alone for such a long time. But you can\u2019t make friends with your prey. And you certainly can\u2019t force a friendship upon them. It doesn\u2019t matter how tightly you grasp onto them with your cusps. Instinct will take over and yes\u2026.you\u2019ll end up eating them. Actually you\u2019ll shred them apart since your throat is lined with sharp spines and is designed to cut jellyfish up into little pieces as they travel down your esophagus and into your stomach. But don\u2019t worry, when you reach your nesting grounds, you\u2019ll have plenty of other Leatherbacks to keep you company. Stay the course!
\nCWF<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Dear CWF, <\/em><\/strong>
\n I thought everybody loved a love bite. Am I wrong?<\/em><\/strong>
\n Yours, The Piranha Penitent Nibbler<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Penitent Nibbler,
\nPerhaps you don\u2019t know the real definition of a love bite. We can\u2019t blame you since all Piranhas have powerful bites. It\u2019s in your genes. Your jaws are backed by some pretty hefty muscles enabling you to bite with force that\u2019s 30 times greater than your own weight! So easy does it, when it comes to love bites. Best of luck!
\nCWF<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Dear CWF, <\/em><\/strong>
\n I think I come on too strong on dates. They never ring me up again for a second date. What should I do?<\/em><\/strong>
\n Sincerely, The Black Widow<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Black Widow,
\nIf you really want a first date to lead into a second, you absolutely must stop trying to eat your mates. Your male mates have gotten word. Have you never noticed that they jiggle their abdomens to imitate the vibrations of predators to distract you before they make a mad dash to safety? You\u2019re more than intimidating. You\u2019re petrifying. Best to keep cool, calm and collected in future romantic endeavors.
\nCWF<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re taking pity on four animals who are truly terrible dates, and offering up our unsolicited advice. Think they might get a date for Valentine\u2019s Day if they change their…<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":60,"featured_media":3330,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[631],"tags":[9170,136,61],"class_list":["post-10790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-connect-with-nature","tag-black-widow","tag-leatherback-sea-turtle","tag-woodpecker"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10790","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/60"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10790"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10790\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10793,"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10790\/revisions\/10793"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.cwf-fcf.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}